Written by Nectarsleep editorial team
Last Updated on Jun 14, 2022
Sleep Divorce: Snores and the missed elbow hits. Prickly blankets irritating your skin. The AC, with its ups and downs. Well, that’s what sometimes happens when you sleep with your partner. You end up negotiating and compromising on your perfect sleeping environment, because in an ordinary world, despite the love and affection you share with them, no two people enjoy the same things.
At least in most cases. And, when it comes to your sleep. You need a solid 7 hours to function coherently the next morning. So, what can be done in such circumstances? Take a look.
We all know, and you have probably heard this umpteen times, but an adult needs at least seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. Why? Because good sleep can help boost your confidence, your productivity and helps keep you energetic and active, which are also the necessary qualities required to maintain a relationship. But that’s not all; if you continuously go on with lack of proper sleep, it can elevate the risks of depression, heart disease, and also lowers your immune system. No one wants that!
According to a 2016 study by Paracelsus Private Medical University in Nuremberg, Germany, a correlation was seen between relationship problems and sleep because they tend to occur hand in hand. What it simply means is that lack of sleep can adversely affect one’s relationship.
That’s one of the very reasons why today, several couples are filing for a sleep divorce. Now, don’t let the word ‘divorce’ scare you because it is not as dramatic as it sounds.
Sleep divorce is a method used where couples choose to sleep apart to get a good night’s. It can be in separate beds in the same room or different rooms altogether. Several couples embrace this technique, even a few celebrities too.
But, the most important question of all is – is this technique right for you? There are questions you must ask yourself before you jump into it. Because what if you lose that intimacy that you share? And, what if you get used to the distance? That is a lot of what ifs your relationship does not need, now and ever.
If you remember Lilly and Marshal, from the hit show “How I Met Your Mother,” in an episode called ‘Twin Beds,’ they find themselves in a situation where they are forced to choose twin beds instead of the intimate setting of a king-size. However, they find the arrangement so comfy that they embrace it even when they reach home. Nevertheless, in the end, they realize that although they are sleeping exceptionally well, their relationship seems to be taking a hit, and they happily go back to sleeping together.
For some real-life experiences, Bustle interviewed eight couples who have adopted this approach. Out of eight, Jeanette who was 65, told the magazine that although her partner likes to sleep alone, she ended up feeling abandoned, and finally, their relationship was done because they weren’t on the same page.
Sleeping together is one of the perks and necessities of being in a relationship. Why? Because it can strengthen your relationship and help enhance the bond you already share.
While Lyndsay, shared that sleeping separately isn’t something she wanted but was willing to give it a try as her partner wasn’t getting enough sleep sharing the bed with her and her dog. For a while, the arrangement worked out well for them. They would spend time together before bed, and each enjoys a good night’s sleep. And, it wasn’t like their sex drive took a hit, or they started cuddling less, but space grew.
Jackie, said that in the beginning, she and her partner slept separately only when they fought. So, it was hard for her to dissociate herself with the turmoil. Her partner snores and suffers from insomnia, and they can easily fall asleep with her in bed, but she is unable to sleep for more than a few hours. Although sleeping separately feels like a feasible option, she doesn’t want to bring it up because it feels like a punishment.
There were some positive stories associated with sleep divorce, as well. Suz, says that she realized that she sleeps much better without her husband in bed. And, for them, intimacy works out better with this arrangement too. So, they each have separate bedrooms, and she gets her own space, which she needs and doesn’t harbor any negativity towards him or feel pressurized. For them, this arrangement is working wonderfully.
On a personal note, a couple I know has also given this method a try because the wife snores loudly and that renders her partner unable to fall asleep. And, since she is a quick sleeper, every night, he keeps waking her up, asking her to sleep on her side so that he can steal some sleep. But that never worked. Both of them would suffer from lack of sleep, which reduced their productivity, and the frustration was taken out on each other, causing frequent arguments.
Then, they tried sleeping separately. While the wife slept with their children, the husband slept alone in their room. For a while, they were sleeping amazingly and were happy. But, in no time, they could feel a distance between them. Since both of them were working professionals, the only time they found for each other was at night. Before they could sleep, they would simply cuddle with each other and talk about their day. However, once they started sleeping separately, it changed. So, they decided to bring home twin beds to sleep individually but at least in the same room.
The ideology of co-sleeping has a complicated history linked to it. Once upon a time, during the Middle Ages, the poor slept on the floor along with their entire family and any livestock they had. This was practiced to stay safe and warm at night. While beds only became a part of the essentials in the 15th century. It was almost a style and a monetary statement because your wealth was seen in the size of the bed. The more money you had, the bigger and grander it looked. And, since they didn’t come cheap, not every household could afford more than one. So, a single bed was shared by many.
By the 19th century, the concept of separate bedrooms came into place and also twin beds, where even married couples slept separately to avoid the spreading of germs. But by the 70s this trend was seen as old-fashioned and traditional and with changing times, it seemed to disappear for a while. So, you see, sleeping separately was never a ‘rule’ for couples, married or otherwise.
It is quite possible that you are not ready to explore this area and would like to stay in the same room as your partner or perhaps it is the space constraint. Well, there is a solution for that too. Like they did in the 19th century, opt for twin beds, and fortunately, technology has made it more convenient for you. How?
Now, take Nectar Adjustable Split King Bed Frame, for instance. Although it serves as twin beds, it can be adjusted according to individual requirements. The bed frame makes use of two separate twin XL mattresses so that you can each control your sleep position the way you like. If you would like to read a bit, you could have your head up while your partner can go on sleeping undisturbed. And since it makes use of twin mattresses but is a double bed, even if your partner chooses the Nectar Firm mattress, you can easily select the Nectar Lush for an undiluted warmth or vice versa.
With the help of Nectar’s Adjustable Bed Frame, you are still sharing the bed, which means any concerns you had regarding distance becoming a factor in your relationship should now be gone. And thankfully, the controls it offers to help control your option ensures you sleep exceptionally well and not compromise on that too.
That’s not all. Unlike yesteryears, matters are not meant for sleeping alone but come with various benefits to ensure that your bed becomes your perfect companion. For instance, with Nectar Adjustable Bed Frame, you simply don’t bring home a bed to sleep it, it also comes with a plethora of benefits including TV recline setting, USB plugins, Zero Gravity, Programmable Memory Setting, Three Zone Massage, Head and Foot Up, Wireless Remote and more.
One possible reason for friction in a relationship is due to lack of sleep or when one has to compromise their sleeping habits because of their partner.
Sleep divorce should be a personal choice, and not something you do because everyone else is doing. Besides, only you and your partner can reach a conclusion together. However, sleeping in separate rooms or even separate beds isn’t truly a requirement anymore because as mentioned earlier, you have bed frames available that offer individual comfort but also keep you together. It is a one-time investment that can resolve a lot of grief that’s been piling up due to the lack of sleep. So, what is the next step you must take? Communicate!
Maybe you feel that a Nectar Adjustable Bed Frame will solve all the sleep problems you have been facing and it will also allow you to stay away from sleep divorce. So, let your partner know. But communicate, you must. And with Nectar, your sleep’s best friend, here’s a win-win solution!
|Twin||38”W x 75”L x 12”H||39 LBS|
|Twin XL||38”W x 80”L x 12”H||42 LBS|
|Full||54”W x 75”L x 12”H||54 LBS|
|Queen||60”W x 80”L x 12”H||66 LBS|
|King||76”W x 80”L x 12”H||83 LBS|
|Cal King||72”W x 84”L x 12”H||82 LBS|
|Split King||76”W x 80”L x 12”H||84 LBS|