Couple Sleeping Positions and What They Mean

Couple Sleeping Positions and What They Mean

As you come home from a long day, you may want nothing more than to snuggle with your partner. Or sometimes, you may want to sleep on the far side of the bed in your own space. Did you know the different styles of sleeping as a couple says a lot about the relationship you are in? For example, couples who sleep in their own space is not a sign of distance but a sign of independence. Here, we have list of sleeping styles common among couples and what they could mean for the relationship.

When you’re dating someone, it’s natural to wonder about the couple sleeping positions and what they mean to your own relationship. There is no shortage of sleep analysis, but most of these have to do with solo sleeping, and not the social dynamics of sleeping couples. According to a recent article, people who sleep on their backs tend to be reliable and strong, while stomach sleepers are outgoing and fun. So what happens when you and your partner couple up? What do these sleeping styles say about you both? We’re here to show you why your sleeping position could tell you an awful lot about the dynamics of your love life. Until you get in the groove, you can also check out our top tips on sleeping with a partner. 

Spoons in the Drawer Means New Love

When you sleep closely linked with your partner, it means two things: y’all can’t get enough of each other… and it’s probably a brand new relationship. When running down couple sleeping positions and what they mean, this one is pretty self-explanatory: when someone is new and exciting, you want to show that you’re excited to be around them, hence the lack of space. It’s sort of a physical reassurance that you can’t get enough of that person.

Though this position tends to change as relationships age, there’s nothing wrong with this being the beginning sleeping position for your new love. This position does tend to be a little uncomfortable, so if your sleeping suffers, make sure to change it up.

spooning couple sleeping position

Two Loose Spoons is a Natural Progression

loose spoons couple sleeping styles

This is a take on the typical, previously mentioned spooning position with one partner tucked inside the other (typically dubbed “little” and “big” spoon). As a couple becomes more confident in their relationship and mature, the spoons tend to drift, which offers the best sleep quality (who can sleep with someone breathing right in their ear?) It’s a nice way for the big spoon to reassure the little spoon, giving literal meaning to the phrase, “I’ve got your back.”

Chased Down Could be a Sign of Mixed Emotions

This is similar to spooning, but with one partner pushed to one side of the bed, with the other pushed up against them in a spooning-type position, with their arms around their partner’s torso. Typically this could mean that the person who has pushed themselves to the side of the bed wants to be chased, and the close spooner acting as the chaser. This is fine but occasionally can also read as a cry for space from the person who has retreated. Samuel Dunkell, the author of Sleep Positions, Night Language of the Body also calls this “illegal spooning.”

chased down spoons

The Intertwining Lovers is a Sign of Intense Emotional Bonding

Comforter

Typically this is after an emotionally positive encounter, sexy or otherwise. Both partners sleep on their sides, facing each other, locked in an embrace of arms and legs. This definitely doesn’t lead to optimal sleep, even on a good foam mattress like nectar, and is often the signal of a new relationship. Neither of you want to leave the other’s arms, which is great, but it can also lead to a lot of arms that have fallen asleep or waking up in the middle of the night.

Related: We bet you didn’t know that your mattress plays a role in your sex life. Here’s how you would go about finding the best mattress for sex.

The Unwoven Braid is a sign of Trust

This one is actually a story in two parts. This sleep position starts as the intertwining lovers, but then unfurls between 20-30 minutes after starting to sleep. It leaves the couple sleeping on their own sides of the bed enjoying whatever sleep position they prefer most. While it can be tempting to judge this position when looking at couple sleeping positions and what they mean, it’s actually a sign of trust. In this sleep position, the couple actually trusts each other enough to let each person do their own thing. It’s a refreshing bit of independence that is needed to keep things fresh and interesting.

couple sleeping positions and what they mean

The Decoupled Couple Means Strength in Independence

decoupled sleeping position

Over 27% of couples don’t sleep touching each other. While you might think that’s the sign of a stale relationship when trying to figure out couple sleeping positions and what they mean, it’s actually the opposite. Sleeping couples who do their own thing are comfortable with each other in ways that newer couples aren’t. By not facing each other, you are showing implicit trust in your relationship. That’s a sleeping couple that’s going to stay together. Using a split king adjustable bed frame can help each of your find the ideal sleeping position without having to compromise. 

Relationship psychologist Corrine Sweet, says that sleeping couples who sleep back-to-back without touching are “connected and secure in themselves. This position shows both closeness and independence in (their) relationship.”

The Moon Landing is a Novel Sleep for Comfortable Couples

The Moon Landing is when both partner’s, ahem, butts touch each other. It’s similar to the Decoupled Couple but has the novelty of that one point of contact. While it isn’t super common, it is a transitional type of sleep position, usually when a couple is going from the beginning romantic moments to something longer and more substantial. Typically the next phase of this sleep position is going to the “decoupled couple,” but often couples who sleep like this can stay solidly in the moon landing for months or even a year.

couple sleeping separate

As always, couple sleeping positions and what they mean are transitory. Nothing is set in stone, but hopefully, with this guide, you can get a general idea of what your sleeping position means, and what that says about your relationship status. Don’t sweat the small stuff, a sleeping position isn’t going to make or break you. Sleeping couples are just a reflection of their awake selves, so if you feel like you need to increase communication, don’t hesitate. Remember, you’re always in control of your life.

Before You Go: Want to know what your subconscious is saying, but don’t sleep with another person? No worries, find out what your solo sleeping position says about your personality. 

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