Man: I live in my white t-shirt.
Dog: I live in his white t-shirt.
12 Weird Thoughts You Have In Bed On Labor Day
By Chee Gates
When you spend hours in bed on Labor Day with zero FOMO, your mind can start to wonder. One minute you’re thinking about tacos; the next minute, a memory from third grade emerges. Don’t worry–we’ve got you covered. We predicted the thoughts that may start dancing in your head, so you won’t be caught off guard.
What if I got an arm tattoo of a peacock with blue feathers? My mom would freak!
Now that summer’s over, I can stop getting pedicures. My dog will still love my feet.
Woman: If I send this email on Labor Day, everyone will see how dedicated I am.
Dog: This laptop would make a great wee-wee pad.
This is the last time I go to an all-you-can-eat pancake buffet.
I should’ve went to school for audio engineering. I could’ve won, like, three Grammys by now.
Let’s pretend like we’re CIA agents on an undercover assignment. Get it? Under cover. Hahahah!
That’s crazy—I got dressed for work and then realized it was Labor Day. I’m such an overachiever.
Let’s see if I can take a selfie without using my hands.
I wonder if there’s a world record for lying completely still without blinking. I’m gonna try it.
I definitely have a fever and need to call in sick for the rest of the week. Maybe two weeks.
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